The "Other"

In the liberal arts we spend a lot of time talking about the "Other". The "Other" can be seen in many forms: a different culture, unacceptable behavior in individuals, a 'simple' person. To the outside observer this person becomes unworthy of notice.

In our current culture we spend a lot of time observing the seemingly perfect. Their lives seem to be worth our every glance. They are the beautiful, the glamorous, the popular. To the outside observer this person's life is so much simpler than our own. We watch them eagerly, hoping to pick up on the secret of this life of bliss. But in a way they themselves become the "Other" as well. They are different, there is a line between them and us that seems unscalable.

The fact is is that the conception of the "Other"...is a concept made up by us. Each person on this Earth is infinite. They have strengths we may not see, trials we cannot comprehend, and something that they can offer to humanity. When we judge others as semingly simple or so different from ourselves we betray our own humanity.

Last week I walked out to my car to go to church and found it completely jammed into the spot. The window was literally one inch from a van that had blocked in both me and the car on the other side. I sat looking at the situation and made a horrid decision. I chose to be incredibly angry. How could he be so incredibly selfish? What was so important about his stupid, large car that allowed him to take advantage of me?

Do you see my mistake? Suddenly I was the perfect victim who was completely unwilling to understand his circumstances while he obviously went out of his way to annoy me. As I caught a ride to church I compiled in my head all the mean things that I was going to say to him. While at church I read a book that my older brother gave me that he got from Anasazi. I thought I'd share the words.

"I say, 'This person doesn't help me.'
Interesting how important fairness has suddenly become to me.
I say, 'This person is too dependent on others.'
Interesting how important her growth has suddenly become to me.
I say, 'This person is not as busy as I am.'
Interesting how my personal productivity is suddenly so important to me.

I sat there and realized how frighteningly important I had suddenly become. My wants had suddenly eclipsed the behavior and feelings of others. He had become the other- simple, different, incapable of understanding.

Anger is not strength. Compassion is not soft. It is a courageous choice that allows us to see others as they are meant to be seen: as individuals of value.